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How Food Became My Enemy (Part 2)

In case you missed it, check out Part 1 of this series!

To make a long story short, by eliminating foods like pork, beef, chicken, and dairy from my diet, I lost over 150 pounds, and my HS went into remission. The more I learned about "trigger" foods such as dairy, brewer's yeast, soy, processed sugar, wheat, and gluten, I reconsidered what I was putting in my body.

Starting to reject foods I thought I needed

I stuck to the vegan/non-dairy/vegetarian lifestyle until 2020. In 2020, my body started rejecting the foods I thought I needed to survive. Legumes, garlic, onions, cauliflower, nuts, grains, seeds, nightshades, anything that wasn't wild-caught, seafood, leafy greens, and fruit made me sick. To paint a better picture, not only did my HS flare, but I was extremely constipated.

Because my body was so constipated, and the diet change did not work, I got colon hydrotherapy. I'll go into that in detail in another article. Essentially, the process helped me to clear out the waste from my intestines. This was when I started noticing improvements in my HS. I still couldn't tolerate the foods I eliminated, but at least I wasn't sick anymore.

Overindulging in what I could eat

Because my body rejected almost everything, I overindulged in the foods I knew I could have. At the same time, I was afraid to eat foods I knew would trigger my body. I was worried I'd become malnourished without legumes, grains, and seeds. My eating disorder intensified and slowly morphed into binge eating.

I decided to return to the drawing board despite the risks. I realized I had to eat something, but some part of me thought I would rather die than be debilitated by a flare again. That's how I felt at the time. I talked to my therapist about my fears, and she coached me through some steps I could take whenever I was ready.

She encouraged me to take action each day. So, if I wanted to eat seafood, I could eat a piece and monitor how my body reacts to it instead of eating a filet of salmon. It has helped as I've adopted the autoimmune protocol diet and transitioned out of it.

Living with restrictions

I still struggle with binge eating because I have trouble finding healthy ways to regulate my emotions, but being aware of it is the first step. The next step is finding new coping mechanisms. I don't know what they are just yet, but I'm taking it one day at a time. It breaks my heart that my relationship with food is a negative one. The bond I used to feel with food is merely a means to escape rather than connect and experience something new.

I've learned to live with my restrictions and continue monitoring my body as I introduce trigger foods into my diet. One of the biggest lessons I've learned through this journey is listening to the body because it constantly communicates.

If something doesn't work out, I feel frustrated, process the emotions, and return to the drawing board. Our bodies change, so what we need changes. I realize that I'll always have to make adjustments.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The HSDisease.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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