A Letter To My Younger Self
Nurturing my inner child has played a major part in healing the mental impact of Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS). Unfortunately, I developed HS at 11 years old which complicated my childhood. This is a painful part of my story that I've denied as my reality for years. As an adult, instead of running from these feelings of resentment and shame, I have developed tools to embrace my past and present. Processing and accepting trauma looks different for everyone but for me, writing a letter to my younger self has enabled me to face the uncomfortable.
Speak to your inner child
Each letter focuses on a specific topic or event that had an impact. I set a timer for an hour and start writing whatever comes from my heart. Because this is something that is deeply personal, you don't have to share the letter publicly if you don't feel comfortable. However, I do encourage you to read the letter out loud as if you're speaking to your inner child. Revise the letter as needed, and know that the more you nurture this energy, the deeper the healing, and the deeper the emotional healing, the deeper the physical freedom.
This letter is tough to write because there's so much I want to say but there's also a plethora of things I can't quite figure out how to put into words. First and foremost, I love you. I love every inch of you from the top of your curly brown head to the bottom of your pale callused feet. I think about you often. Recently, you came up when mom and dad retold that McDonald's story they love so much.
The one where we went to Mickey D's as a family and dad would drop me off at the Playscape and literally 5 minutes later we made friends with every child in the room. They would overhear kids asking where we were and what was on the agenda. I loved that for us. Not because we could command an audience and find a friend in any and every space we walked into but because we were our authentic self and that is what attracted the world. We didn't have to wear any masks.
Somewhere along the way, after years of countless physical, mental and spiritual bullying, and an unexpected debilitating chronic skin condition, who we were became a distant memory. I really hate that, but luckily for us, this is where the hero's journey begins. This is actually where you start to come alive. You find your voice, a solid group of friends, a career path, artistic projects to pour yourself into, you travel the country, and soon baby girl, you will travel the world. There's so much sun after the countless days of rain and vast uncontrollable waters. Our seas are beginning to calm. It's all worth seeing no matter how hard it gets, I promise you. The feelings that seem permanent are literally temporary. You will work through your trauma, but it won't be easy.
What I really want you to take away from this letter is how brilliantly beautiful you are. This manifestation isn't seen through just physical attributes but your beauty exudes from your mind, your lips, your hands, and anywhere you step. Beauty surrounds you and that's why you radiate it, not because you're in close proximity to any standard of it. This point will be moot right now because when you're in the thick of it all, all that matters is what you're hyper-focusing on. So, store this in the back of your mind to carry with you throughout your journey. It's a seed that will continue to grow and gently remind you that you're the prize you're looking for.
There's so much more I want to say, but in closing, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from every situation and everything. I know a lot of times you felt you were alone and abandoned by God, but God was right by your side the whole time, always keeping you safe. Remember to trust your intuition, because that is God. And trust yourself and your gifts because they're needed. They may not always be validated on major platforms but know that any dream you accomplish is worthy of praise because you took it from the idea phase and placed it into the world. That is what we do as living beings, we create, we destroy, and we manifest. The beauty in the journey you're on is, believe it or not, you are exactly where you need to be. You will become the woman of your dreams. Please rest easy knowing you'll be exactly where you need to be when you need to be there.
Your Higher Self
Have you shared your HS story?