When The Body Becomes A Battleground

On February 24th, 2022, the bloody battle between Russia and Ukraine had begun. Since then, thousands of lives have been lost and more than a third of Ukraine’s population disrupted through displacement. War is a sad affair. It steals any last vestige of innocence that one might have left in them. But thriving under pressure despite setbacks strengthens mental toughness. It demands high levels of courage and devotion to deal with the realities of brutality and bloodshed. Some thinkers also believe that a war turns a boy into a man giving him the confidence to rise above circumstances and emerge even stronger.

But what if our own body were to turn into a battleground? How does one deal with an enemy residing within us? Is an escape from adversities even a possibility then?

Invasion on the body

Hidradenitis Suppurative (HS) is primarily an inflammatory disorder. It could also be a disorder of autoimmunity, or perhaps both. This chronic skin ailment is characterized by recurrent swollen, painful abscesses that emerge in the intertriginous areas of the body, and this is no less than a war enemy. I was diagnosed with HS when I was 19. Nodules and puss secreting sinuses had pierced my underarms, scarring my skin. Every bump felt like a gunshot wound that would burn and itch and ache.

Infection, tenderness, weakness, fever excruciating pain, and a host of other symptoms had physically and mentally paralyzed me. My mind would often freeze under pressure unable to think of ways to resolve the matter. Antibiotics, steroids, and surgeries had been my key weapons and I used them generously to safeguard my skin from further damage. But with every passing year, it felt like I was fighting a losing battle. New flares would recure each time an old one subsided and eventually, HS would regain an upper hand rendering me helpless.

When conflicts go unresolved

To find a satisfactory way of dealing with an incurable malady lies in one’s prowess to remain alert, calm, balanced and focused. But being in a state of acute pain seldom made me think right. When the immune system fails to distinguish between healthy tissues from potentially harmful antigens, how does one recognize and eliminate invaders from hurting the body?

To resolve any conflict, it’s essential to identify the genesis of a problem. But with HS no one could decipher the root cause of its gruesome attack. It exists like another wicked soul, locked up in the body, fighting for dominance. Perhaps it’s best not to lose one’s senses trying to scrutinise battles and conflicts that emerge among cells, tissues, and organs. The human body is a prime example of a very complex system, and we are unlikely to fully understand its great mysteries.

A shift in perspective

There has been an impressive decline in mortality rates due to advanced research and delivery of health care management. However, distress is common among patients diagnosed with chronic illnesses and they may not be necessarily living better. It takes plenty of time to deal with emotional scars and much longer to develop the courage to cultivate pain tolerance. This makes us victims no less brave than war heroes.

We may have learned to make peace with deep boils and blocked hair follicles, but HS is an iniquitous opponent that is tough to forgive and difficult to forget the damage it continues to inflict on our bodies. However, I choose not to fight with it anymore. But that doesn’t mean I have given up, nor am I willing to surrender. I just won’t let it crush my spirit of survival any longer.