"Good afternoon to all. Today is October 14th 2021.. I am waiting for my next surgery for the removal of a pocket of infection that I just had recently had to be lanced.. I was very weak and drained from this last nasty Abcess.. The day after it had been drained. I felt drained,and not myself.. I said if I had a bridge I would jump off.. I didn't mean it I was just.
exhausted.. Yes I get upset and very disappointed that I have this nasty skin disease.. I hurt on a constant basis.. Most of my household don't understand how I feel.. I don't know what to think sometimes.. I feel ashamed of myself,I feel dirty, I feel like I am a disappointment to myself and others.. We are supposed to love our skin within. I don't know how I can.. I have fought many years with H.S. .. I feel like I just can't deal with much more of these abcess infections.. I hurt everyday from something. I have tried everything to help my skin.. This last recent abcess could have taken my life. I had 4 different infections inside mrsa, and 2 rare infections and 1 normal infection.. I am truly trying to fight its truly a battle.. I know I tend to fight hard.. I will continue to fight.. I understand that we have to start everyday with a new attitude.. I am at stage 3 going into 4.. I have fought this for almost 30 years. Don't know what to expect.. I can't go get a job due to several health issues.. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and make my days brighter.. I am looking forward to the Holiday season to start.. Maybe that will help me kinda control my emotions.. Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry about the draining post.. "